Small popcorn, medium Coke and a Kevlar vest, please

By Dennis Hartley

Is there no end to this?

A Salina [Kansas] theater was evacuated after a man apparently shot himself in the leg with his concealed handgun. […] Tim Coleman says he was sitting nearby when he heard a pop, smelled gunpowder, and the man said, “Oh my God! I shot myself!” […] Coleman fixed a tourniquet to stop the bleeding and made sure the weapon was secured. Police say no charges have been filed, and the man’s injuries were not life-threatening.

I also understand this 2nd Amendment worshippin’ theatergoer had only recently received his concealed carry permit (I’m shocked, shocked to learn this!). Look on the bright side…at least he wasn’t there to shoot everyone else in the auditorium. How refreshing.

Jesus. I need to rethink this movie critic gig. I should get hazard pay.

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