By Dennis Hartley
(Originally posted at Digby’s Hullabaloo on July 20, 2024)
Dee: Jane, do you ever feel like you are just this far from being completely hysterical twenty-four hours a day?
Jane: Half the people I know feel that way. The lucky ones feel that way. The rest of the people ARE hysterical twenty-four hours a day.
— from Grand Canyon, screenplay by Lawrence and Meg Kasdan
HAL 9000: Look Dave, I can see you’re really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.
— from 2001: A Space Odyssey, screenplay by Stanley Kubrick and Arthur C. Clarke
George Fields: [to Dorothy/Michael] I BEGGED you to get therapy!
— from Tootsie, screenplay by Murray Schisgal
I’ll be honest. This has been a particularly rough week for news junkies and/or anyone who cares about the future of our democracy. As Howard Beale once said, I don’t have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. Of course, we’ve “been here before”, seemingly on the brink of sociopolitical collapse (I’m old enough to remember 1968). After all, history (as one of the students in The History Boys proffers) is best defined as “…just one fuckin’ thing after another.” The future’s uncertain and the end is always near-so why worry?
That said, if there is one constant through all the years, it’s sweet, sweet music (I’ll bet you thought I was going to say “baseball”, didn’t you?). Speaking of “constants through all the years”, you’ve heard the one about cockroaches and Cher surviving the Apocalypse? You can add this item to that list: Maxell UD XL-II 90 cassettes (I used to buy ’em by the “brick”).
I have a stash of mix tapes that I curated from the mid 70s through the early 90s. A few years back I was transferring some to CD and I’ll be damned if some of the oldest ones didn’t sound just as good as the day I recorded them (my theory is that they are manufactured from the same material they use for “black boxes” in airplanes).
I was into putting together “theme sets” long before I got into the radio biz. My mix tapes were popular with friends; I’d make copies on demand, and name them (of course). One of my faves was “The Oh My God I am So Stoned Tape”. I don’t think that requires explanation; I mean, it was the 70s and I was a long-haired stoner music geek.
50 years later, I’m still putting together theme sets. It is my métier. Kind of sad, really (grown man and all). Anyway …turn off the news (it’s depressing!), turn down the lights, do some deep breathing, put on some noise-cancelling ‘phones and let “The Oh My God I am So Stoned Tape 2024” wash anxiety away. I’ve sequenced the songs in a manner designed to sustain a certain mood-so for maximum effect, I suggest that you listen to it in order. Enjoy!*
*Herbal enhancement optional
The Jazz Butcher Conspiracy – “Partytime”
Simon and Garfunkel – “Punky’s Dilemma”
The Style Council – “The Whole Point of No Return”
The Herd – “On Your Own”
Budgie – “Make Me Happy”
Batdorf and Rodney – “Poor Man’s Dream”
Chunky, Novi, & Ernie – “Atlantic Liner”
Hall & Oates – “Las Vegas Turnaround (The Stewardess Song)”
War – “All Day Music”
Malo – “Suavecito”
Foghat – “I Couldn’t Make Her Stay”
Beth Orton – “Couldn’t Cause Me Harm”
David Sylvain – “I Surrender”
Brian Protheroe – “Pinball”
Roger Powell – “Windows”
Kiss – “A World Without Heroes”
Tim Curry – “Out of Pawn”
Russ Ballard – “Helpless”
The Tom Robinson Band – “War Baby”
Charlie – “L.A. Dreamer”
Joe Vitale – “Feeling’s Gone Away”
David Bowie – “Don’t Look Down”
Dead Can Dance- “The Carnival is Over”
Scott Walker – “Angels of Ashes”
Nick Heyward – “The Day it Rained Forever”